I’ve never really understood why it’s called a fork. I mean, forks generally have three to four prongs and usually when we’ve reached a point of having to decide, it is between one thing or another. Two options. I’ve never seen a fork with two tines. And God help me if I’m ever at a place where I have to choose between three or four options. Two is often difficult enough.
So, this fork… I’ve reached a point where I need to make a decision and although I know what most people would probably choose, I’ve never been one to do what most people do. I’m a publisher and at the end of this year, I will have been in business for ten years. Ten long years of reading manuscripts, answering questions for authors and illustrators, formatting books, designing covers, and creating marketing promos. Ten long years of pouring money into a business and not receiving a salary for the work I do in addition to holding a full-time job for most of that time. Sounds like I’m some kind of moron, right? Why in the world would anyone put over forty hours a week into a business that didn’t pay them some kind of salary or at least pay for itself? That’s a dandy question. And something that has been on my mind a lot lately.
The biggest reason why I publish is because I feel that God called me to do it. I have wanted to quit so many times over the years as I’ve dealt with many authors who were less than appreciative and some who were downright rude and unethical. But thankfully, I’ve dealt with more who are the sweetest, most genuinely talented and loyal people that I’ve ever met. In truth, I couldn’t bear to stop doing what I do because of these individuals. They have added so much to my life and I’m grateful for them. I only wish my efforts could have added more to their lives. Sadly, time I could have spent on strategizing or coming up with better solutions to some of my business issues was spent trying to explain to some authors why they weren’t going to be making sales like Stephen King or Janet Evanovich. Authors who came to me under the guise of being serious about getting a message out, but who ended up only being interested in putting their name out there as a published author. Authors who took advantage of my time and resources only to turn around and stab me in the back. Those were the ones that nearly caused me to turn my back on the whole thing on more than one occasion.
When these things happened, I did the only thing I knew to do; I prayed. I asked God if He was sure He really wanted me to keep doing this. It surely seemed like someone didn’t want me to do it, but I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t Him. And time after time, He came through with an answer. Sometimes it was in the form of a well-timed compliment or word of encouragement from one of my authors, or maybe an intriguing, new manuscript that appeared and kept me interested in moving forward. Or maybe it was a literal sign that I passed on the road that said something like, “Keep Going…You’re Almost There!” Where? I have no idea. But I’m guessing I’m still almost there.
It’s sad how some people make it their mission to sabotage others as a means of trying to amplify their own presence or somehow validate their toxic nature. People who have to have things exactly the way they want it even when it goes against what is best for everyone else make for a very stressful experience. At first, I didn’t deal with this type of person very well. I let their attitudes hurt me and I took it all very personally when they attacked with their accusations that I, the person who was doing hundreds of dollars’ worth of work for them for absolutely no fee, was somehow not doing enough. And it wasn’t like I hadn’t explained my goal as a publisher when I entered into the contract with them. I try to make it clear that we’re not interested in getting a fake bestseller sticker or any other recognition that carries absolutely no value but seems to be sought after by the masses. I try to make that clear in everything that I do concerning the business. We aren’t here to fit into society or to what everyone else wants. We’re here to tell our stories and to glorify God by doing so. If you come to me thinking you’re going to be one of Oprah’s Favorite Books, you’re just mistaken. I have zero interest in fitting in with Oprah’s crowd. I know too much about what goes on in those circles to be impressed by it. In fact, there are no celebrities out there that impress me enough to make me deviate from what God has already asked me to do. None of them are Jesus. None of them are any more important than any one of us. They just happen to be in a different tax bracket.
So, as I’ve been thinking about things and trying to figure out which road to take as I stare at this imaginary, two-pronged fork, I have been praying for guidance and for clarity. Is it time to lay it down? I don’t think so. But it is definitely time to make some big changes. New criteria, new requirements, new expectations. Things change and as they change, we have to find ways to shift with them that don’t involve leaving God’s plan behind in favor of one that is easier or more convenient for us. I’m getting older and less patient. I’m more exhausted by things these days and I don’t want that to be the constant quality of life that I’m experiencing. So, it has to happen. Something’s gotta give…as they say. And since I’ve been giving for a long time, I’m thinking I’m not that something.
Rebecca Benston is the owner of Higher Ground Books & Media and the author of over twenty titles currently available through Amazon and other outlets. Her books include a mystery series (The Rona Shively Stories), empowerment resources such as Wise Up to Rise Up, Don’t Be Stupid (And I Mean That in the Nicest Way), and From Judgment to Jubilee, children’s books including Grumble D. Grumble Learns to Smile, All the Scary Things, and See How Strong You Are. Benston lives in Springfield, Ohio with her awesome daughter, Mya and enjoys traveling, reading, writing, and telling it like it is. She enjoys being able to help other authors get their stories out there through Higher Ground and has recently expanded her freelance services to offer more extensive guidance as a writing coach and social media manager. For more information, you can contact Benston at highergroundbooksandmedia@gmail.com.
Get your copy of Bloom by Robin Stone in the HGBM Shop or on Amazon! This story will keep you guessing! If you like mysteries and stories about good defeating evil, you’ll love Bloom!
5.0 out of 5 stars A Captive Page Turner
Once I started reading, I just didn’t want to put the book down. I was totally riveted to my seat through all of twists and turns I didn’t see coming. I highly recommend this book to everyone who loves for a book to pull you in and not let you go, keeping you engrossed from front cover to back! – Terra Kern
Leading the Follower 